


Smoke to Smoke

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Deadlock McCree, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 10:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10090616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jesse McCree has his future all planned out. He's going to get his crush to fall in love with him, move up the ranks of the Deadlock gang, and maybe even get a family along the way. Until Overwatch ruins it. One wrong word away from a death sentence, he makes a life changing decision that saves his life; or destroys it.This story follows a nineteen year old McCree through his time in the Deadlock game, all the way up to the fall of Overwatch. It primarily focuses on his relationship with his mentor, Gabriel Reyes, aka Reaper.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So, I hope you like this story. I have no idea how many chapters I'll end up adding but expect it to be quite long. And don't worry, the next part will get a lot more interesting, I promise! More tags will be added as the plot develops with the chapters.

Jesse barely remembers it anymore, the fire. He sometimes dreams of it, though. He dreams of the flames licking at his skin and the smoke that choked his voice as he screamed his mother’s name. But, when he’s awake, the memory feels like it happened to somebody else, like it was a story he heard sometime in his youth. He still chases the images. He wants to remember, he _needs_ to. Maybe that’s why he started smoking.

The pointless thoughts leave Jesse’s head as he takes another drag of the cigar clasped in his left hand. Just to be sure that they won’t come back, he shakes his head a bit and distracts himself by eyeing the man sitting next to him on the creaky bed. “So,” his voice is a lazy drawl. “You got somewhere in mind?”

His friend, Ryan, turns to roll his eyes at Jesse. “No, I was just gonna lead us through the gorge aimlessly.” The sarcasm is heavy in his words. “Yeah, I got a plan, ya fuckin’ numbskull.” With that, Ryan leans to cuff Jesse on the back of the head, earning himself a sneer.

“Don’t’cha remember last time you said ya wanted to ‘have a talk?’ We walked for hours tryin’ to find a good place to sit and in the end you made us turn around ‘cause ya said it ain’t worth it.” Jesse drops his cigar to the dirt and puts it out with his boot. “Just don’t want a repeat, ‘s all.”

Ryan sighs and Jesse takes opportunity to glance around the small tent they’ve holed up in. The fabric was dingy, and the dust that coated the ground had settled on all of their stuff, but it gave the two some privacy. All that lay in the tent besides the boys was a small bed and a dim lantern that sat on the ground. It really wasn’t much, not like the safe-feeling bedroom that Jesse remembers from his childhood. “Listen,” Ryan says with a tone of exasperation. “Forget about last time, this time I _really_ think we need a talk, and I’d prefer to have it away from the rest of the guys.”

As much as Jesse hated to admit it, Ryan did have a point. The men in the Deadlock gang weren’t exactly...discreet, and if they heard anything about Jesse’s situation, they’d never let it go. “Fine. But you ain’t gettin’ me to skip lunch. We leave after that.”

With a snort, Ryan stands up and stretches. “Yeah, whatever. ‘Night.”

“Goodni-” Jesse starts, but his friend has already left. He groans in frustration and flings himself onto the bed like a teenage girl. His face ends up buried in the pillow and the tears that burn hot in his eyes begin to soak the cotton.

He tried, he had really tried, but letting go of his stupid crush on Ryan was impossible. Jesse knows what the talk would be about. Every talk was about the same damn thing. About how he needed to “grow out of his crush,” and “stop fawning over his friend.” He knows Ryan doesn’t feel the same, doesn’t like guys the way Jesse does, but for some reason Jesse can’t shake the hope that blossoms in his chest whenever they went a day without arguing or acting awkward around each other.

It wasn’t a secret. Jesse McCree was head over heels for his best friend, and Ryan only saw them as friends on a good day. It hurt more than anything Jesse had felt in a long damn time, but it felt like giving up would hurt more. So he holds on to the tiny, jagged piece of hope that he has. It’s broken and scorched, but he can’t let go. Has never been able to let go of anything.

A sob escapes Jesse’s lips. His pillow smells like Ryan, and the scent overwhelms Jesse’s senses from where his face lies still buried in the pillow. For just a single second, he lets himself fantasize. He imagines running his hands through Ryan’s soft black hair and pressing kisses to his sun-kissed neck. Before he knows it, Jesse is gripping the pillow tighter and attempting to convince himself that maybe one day he’d have that. He’d wake up feeling Ryan’s chest against his back and he’d feel _safe._ Jesse whimpers and lets go of the pillow, rolling into a more comfortable position. He hasn’t felt safe in years.

Sleep overtakes him before he has the chance to slip deeper into his foul mood, and Jesse welcomes the darkness with relief.

The obnoxious shouting of the gang leader awakes Jesse from a sleep he hadn’t noticed falling into. “Get the hell up! We don’t keep y’all round to sit on your asses all day!”

Jesse sits up and blinks the sleep from his eyes. His head hurts, but he forces himself to stand anyway. Taking a quick look at the clothes he’s wearing-and has been since two days ago-he deems them clean enough to wear another day. Blue jeans and a white t-shirt held up pretty well out in the desert where Deadlock had set up camp.

He stretches, groaning when his back pops. He may only be nineteen, but the work that the gang did made him sore for days. Morning chores consisted of washing clothes, counting ammunition, and standing guard outside the camp for an hour. Rookies like him always got the busy work, and Jesse longed for the day he’d be trusted enough to go out with the other gang members.

Life in the Deadlock Gang wasn’t easy, but it sure as hell beat fending for himself on the streets. After his mother had died, Jesse was left on his own. Only eight years old and with no other family that he knew of, who knows what would’ve happened to him if the gang hadn’t recruited him. Yeah, he was a little young for a gang, but the members must’ve figured that if they picked him up while he was young and impressionable, his loyalty would be unbreakable later on in life. They had been correct; Jesse owed his life to Deadlock.

Now nineteen, he spends his days doing the heavy labor and fucking around with the other younger kids. He met Ryan when he was sixteen. The kid had been dragged in kicking and screaming, claiming that he was the sheriff’s son, and there’d be hell to pay if he wasn’t returned. Jesse wasn’t naive, he knew that Ryan had been brought in for a ransom, but he treated the kid as an equal regardless. It seemed that the sheriff decided against paying the hefty ransom for his son, and left Ryan to the wolves in the gang. It was Jesse who convinced the gang leader that the kid was worth keeping.

It was kind of ironic: the sheriff’s son who had originally despised Deadlock was now gunning for gang leader. Jesse supposed that Ryan simply wanted to break as far away from the father that abandoned him as possible. He knew the feeling.

Being one of the younger members, Jesse doesn’t get a whole lot of “important” tasks. That kind of work was left to the men that had been born into the gang and lived their whole life in it. It had always seemed so foreign to Jesse, so enticing. He wasn’t as ambitious as Ryan, but he definitely wanted to join in on something _fun._

Jesse wasn’t _exactly_ sure what the older guys did when they left, but he was damn sure it wasn’t legal. It couldn’t be, not when they came back sporting brand new outfits and jewelry, stained with recently dry blood. The way they laughed and talked about their heists...Jesse wanted in on that camaraderie. He wanted to mean something to someone.

The morning drags on, and Jesse begins to grow impatient. He had finished his first two tasks-washing and taking inventory-and is now standing idle just outside the camp. Forty five minutes had passed and only fifteen remained until his lunch break, but it still felt like it’d be hours before he could finally get some alone time with-shit.

Jesse pales at the memory of last night. Looks like he wasn’t going to get a peaceful lunch break after all. Dreading the talk with Ryan, Jesse’s watch shift passes by far too quickly, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when the next rookie comes to take over. The boy laughs at Jesse’s small start, and Jesse casts his face down in mild embarrassment.

The walk back to the center of the camp is short, but it takes longer than usual, probably because of the way Jesse is dragging his feet. All his false self confidence from the night before is gone, and he feels weak and needy. Who knew what Ryan wanted to talk about? It could be anything from the usual judgments of Jesse’s crush to an ultimatum: be a normal friend to Ryan or leave him alone. Jesse had thought that Ryan sounded more serious than usual last night, and his mind raced away from him with hypothetical situations.

The second time he is startled that day, Jesse lets out an undignified shriek. Ryan had found him hanging around the center of camp and tapped on his shoulder, scaring Jesse out of his skin. “Chill, dude. It’s just me,” Ryan says with an overly exaggerated eye roll.

Growing a bit sick to his stomach, Jesse has to fight the urge to drop to his knees and beg Ryan not to leave him. God, his overthinking had really gotten out of control. Instead of groveling like a dog, Jesse manages a smile and a polite greeting. “You ready for our little ‘talk?’”

Ryan nods, the amusement leaving his face. “C’mon, don’t look so anxious about it. Not like I’m gonna ditch you or anything.” With that, he starts off, leaving Jesse to either catch up or get left behind.

The reassurance that Ryan wouldn’t leave did little to soothe Jesse’s nerves, but he still forces his legs into motion. Jogging a bit to make up for his hesitation, Jesse manages to keep stride with his friend. A heavy weight settles in Jesse’s bones, and he takes one last look towards the camp. Feeling comforted by the fact that he’d be able to return to this place soon, he steels his nerves and locks his eyes forward. With a shaky hand, he reaches into a pocket for a cigar to distract himself. But still he moved forward. No matter how anxious he may seem, Jesse McCree is no damn coward.


End file.
